Why We Complain

We complain when we don’t like things the way they are. This is essentially saying, “Things are not the way I want them. I want things my way!” So the complaint is a frustration, irritation, anger that we’re not getting our way.

What’s wrong with not getting our way? Are we so entitled? In fact, there’s nothing wrong with things not going our way — but there’s a fear that we won’t be OK if things aren’t the way we want them. We fear not having control over things.

So we feel this fear of a lack of control, a fear that we won’t be OK if we don’t get our way. We then feel frustration, irritation, anger.

Then we create a narrative about how things shouldn’t be this way, they should be some other way. They shouldn’t act that way, why do they always do that? I should be better, I shouldn’t be this way.

In fact, this is what’s happening when we try to get rid of our complaining — we feel that there’s something wrong with us when we complain. So we need to change, because we shouldn’t be this way.

Getting rid of complaint is essentially a form of complaint.

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